We have recently been granted Point of Entry to a Level 1 Trauma Center about 30 miles away. Last night, having acquired ourselves a severe trauma pt, my partner and I decided to journey on down to The Trauma Establishment.
The call, in a manner of speaking went well. There were no sudden deteriorations, unmanageable conditions, unsuccessful performances, or time warps into another era. However, like most Municipality medics, we are used to dealing with a local hopital, and oftentimes are on a first name basis with almost all of the ED staff. That translates into a certain amount of expectaions amongst Hospital and Pre-Hospital providers. Such as: I know what the Hell I'm doing, and I know you know I know what the Hell I'm doing, and I know you know what the Helll YOU'RE doing, and we all do what we have to do without (too much) difficulty. Simply put, that is
Going to a different hospital was frustrating for a couple of Blokes who are used to a certain reception when they arrive. To make it easier for you, here are my Rules for Transporting to The Trauma Establishment:
1. Enter through 2 sets of doors into Utter and Complete Clustered, Crowded, Throngs of Chaos, punctuated by beds, patients, machines, desks, staff, sick, injured, and other Random Mammals all crammed into a foyer-type of area.
2. Expect staff to interrupt your verbal Report with things like "I don't care about that," and "I don't even want to know that," when referencing the interventions you have performed, then minutes later galavant into the room your pt. has been assigned to and blurt "they only have one I.V.", when in fact they have TWO large bore I.V.'s which is one of the things you were trying to divulge when you were told "I don't care about that."
3. Be informed of the room number you will travel to with your pt. and have no clue which way said room may be in the huge, tumultous ED. When requested, a staff member will lead you...down a long hallway between Here and Somewhere, and through a veritable obstacle course of Erratic Objects from Space and other Surrounding Galaxies.
4. Prepare yourself for the activity that ensues once you are in the assigned room, and the transferring of pt. and other information begins. The room will rapidly fill up with Interns, Residents, Technicinas, Nurses, Radiologists, Surgical Teams, Custodians, and all manners of "Captain Obvious-es." The Captain Obvious-es will continuously spew observations, commands, and treatment modalities in a monotone fashion that will be more maddening than a nest Fire Ants swarming your nether regions. For example:
"Looks like one male is on a back board."
Thanks, Captain Obvious! This IS a TRAUMA center, right? Are c-spine precautions so surprising? And were you expecting TWO males on the board? I'm certain all of the Legally Blind ortho surgeons appreciated your announcement. "We'll need to move this stretcher," said as the pt is just being lifted from the stretcher to the bed.
Thanks, Captain Obvious! Were it not for the reminder, I may have left my Heavy Duty, Bright Yellow, Rugged Stryker Cot in a small, uninhabited corner of this jam-packed room! PHEW! And I can't move my equipment until the pt. is off of it. Otherwise, I wouldn't really be TRANSFERING them to your care. I would simply be taking them on a tour of Trauma Establishments. "Is the Oxygen turned off?" NO, NOT YET. "Well, we'll need to get this Oxygen turned off," said about the non-rebreather still being supplied by my portable tank, while the pt is nowhere near their Oxygen supply.
Oh, Captain Obvious, you've done it again! THANK YOU for kindly pointing out the blatantly obvious!! However, because a mask over a pt's airway can become quite suffocating with no O2 hissing through it, and because this Dear Patient has already suffered enough trauma this evening, I figured I'd wait until there was another O2 Fount to transfer the line to, before I "get this Oxygen turned off."5. Despite the fact that you called in an adequate report through C-med on a recorded line, spoke with a remarkably friendly staff member who acknowledged, received, and even had a question or two over the air about your arrival, be prepared to receive a warm warning about "calling in a report. I know you guys don't come here often, and I just wanted to make sure you knew how to do that."
Happy Travels, All! And a great big Hug and Thank You to all of the Captain Obvious-es who made this writing possible!
Home 
